"JEM" (jem)
12/22/2014 at 10:35 • Filed to: None
1
20|
"JEM" (jem)
12/22/2014 at 10:35 • Filed to: None | 1
| 20 |
It's almost pointless, dumb, and barely even worth the clickbait effort.
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
> JEM
12/22/2014 at 10:38 |
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To prevent us from clicking it and giving what they want; what does the article basically say?
jkm7680
> JEM
12/22/2014 at 10:38 |
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I don't think that whoever wrote that article has even touched a motorcycle.
Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
> JEM
12/22/2014 at 10:38 |
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!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
*unless you are immortal
McMike
> JEM
12/22/2014 at 10:38 |
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Let's not forget this masterpiece, too.
http://gawker.com/dont-be-offend…
TheBaron2112
> JEM
12/22/2014 at 10:39 |
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Hamilton Nolan is easily the most loathesome person on gawker staff. He tries to dress his writing up and hide it with snark but it fails. It is nothing but thoughtless rabble.
RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
> Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
12/22/2014 at 10:44 |
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**And don't have your head cut off.
DoYouEvenShift
> JEM
12/22/2014 at 10:45 |
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The comments. Hell the articles themselves on gawker are great for free laughs.
Guns are bad, white people are evil, America is the devil, everyone is gay, climate change blah blah blah.
Alfalfa
> JEM
12/22/2014 at 10:47 |
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Yeah, I'm definitely not clicking on that.
T5Killer
> JEM
12/22/2014 at 10:48 |
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Bahahahahaha The motorcycle master race must be all in a rage at this one.
nermal
> JEM
12/22/2014 at 10:48 |
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Gotta over-sensationalize everything to get them clicks.
This take on motorcycling is just dumb. Any other viewpoint is better - If you want to ride a motorcycle, take an MSF course and buy proper gear. If you want to go fast on a sportbike, take it to a track. If you want to buy a Hayabusa as your first bike and ride it out of the dealership as fast as possible on a windy / trafficy road, you should totally do it!
(Gotta keep the supply of low-mileage salvage Hayabusa engines up, to reduce the cost of engine swaps in the Smart cars / go karts / etc.)
Meatcoma
> JEM
12/22/2014 at 10:49 |
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pun intended.
Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero
> JEM
12/22/2014 at 10:50 |
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I really hope Damon rights a rebuttal
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McMike
> cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
12/22/2014 at 10:53 |
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This is the article. It's barely longer than a Sploid piece. Yawn.
"Some of you who have successfully reached middle age and feel the yearning for a new sense of adventure in life may be considering purchasing a motorcycle. Before you do, consider this FACT: you will die.
You'll get that beautiful chopper, you'll take it out on the open road, you'll open up that throttle and feel the wind in your hair and a heart-bursting sense of freedom and declare that you've never felt more alive. Then you'll get distracted or hit a pebble or feel a momentary wobble in your front wheel driving over some oil and before you even know what's happening you're sliding along the asphalt right into a fucking guardrail and you're dead. DEAD, STEVE.
You were an accountant, Steve. Not a god damn Hells Angel.
Imagine your wife explaining your sudden, violent death to all of your family friends. "I didn't even know he rode motorcycles," they'll say. Yeah, you rode a motorcycle—right into the afterlife, my man.
Was it worth it?
Don't take my word for it. Look at the cold hard facts: old folks like you are going out and buying motorcycles and then launching themselves over the handlebars and straight into hell, now more than ever. From the Wall Street Journal :
Though the overall U.S. motorcycle toll appears to have leveled off in recent years, deaths have risen among older riders as more of them hit the road. Those 55- to 64-years-old accounted for 16.3% of motorcycle crash deaths in 2013, the latest year for which that breakdown is available. That was down from 17.2% in 2012 but up from 9.3% a decade earlier and less than 3% in the early 1990s.
That Harley sure is handsome. That Triumph sure is grand. That Kawasaki sure is fast. You've worked hard, done all the right things, and reached middle age. Don't you owe it to yourself to have a little fun once again?
Sure. Until you die. Because you will—die, that is (on a motorcycle, gruesomely)."
SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
> JEM
12/22/2014 at 10:56 |
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It's pretty hard to believe sometimes that this is still in the Gawker univernse.
davedave1111
> JEM
12/22/2014 at 11:23 |
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The only thing that annoys me more than such blatant click-generating-through-controversy articles is when people call it click-bait. Sorry, no. Click-bait is worse than that: it's the headlines which say stuff like 'You won't believe this one thing which is killing middle-aged men', without telling you enough about the content to decide if you want to read it; you _have_ to click it to find out if you want to or not.
Maybe we need a new word for this kind of thing, although 'yellow journalism' still seems valid.
yamahog
> JEM
12/22/2014 at 11:57 |
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OMG WHY DIDN'T ANYONE EVER TELL ME IT WASN'T SAFE I GOTTA SELL THAT THING RIGHT THIS INSTANT
/s
also, did everyone else just forget to share the secret of eternal life with bikers? Oh, wait, everyone still dies? Lame.
bob and john
> JEM
12/22/2014 at 15:22 |
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...
yep. that's it. right there.
the stupidest fucking thing I'll read all week
and its only Monday!
ranwhenparked
> JEM
12/22/2014 at 16:19 |
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Well, click bait or not, the headline is fairly accurate. I believe the statistics are that something like 97% of all people die at some point in their lives.
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JEM
> ranwhenparked
12/22/2014 at 18:25 |
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Shit. Have the vampire levels in society risen that much lately? Is this Twilight's fault?
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JEM
> bob and john
12/22/2014 at 18:26 |
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Eh, give it time. I'm sure some Republican politician somewhere will be able to top that.